Like I'm Gonna Lose You
by chibi-onna1
Summary: I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you, I'm gonna hold you like I'm saying goodbye; wherever we're standing, I won't take you for granted, 'cause we'll never know when we'll run out of time...


**Disclaimer:** If I owned Kingsman, I wouldn't deprive y'all of the deleted scenes. _*shrugs*_ Just sayin'.

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 **A/N:** If there's one song Meghan Trainor got right, it's this one (but then again, the song also has John Legend singing in it, so yeah, enough said XD) because it's just so fucking perfect for hartwin in every way, like I'm this close to believing that it was actually written about them. Listen to it while reading or maybe after.

 **Hartwin Week Day 3 prompt: Based on a song**

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 **Like I'm Gonna Lose You**

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At that very moment, Eggsy thought it'd be aces if this were that kind of movie.

He sighed contentedly, snuggling further into the warmth of Harry's side as they leisurely strolled through the empty park. Everything was quiet and peaceful, the slight bite of the cool night air was just right for their shared body heat to be perfectly comfortable. The moon bathed everything in silver just as the sparse lampposts dotted the pathways in gold. If he didn't know any better, Eggsy would've sworn they were in some kind of set, acting out some perfectly romantic scene from a popular film or some such. This was real though, and he couldn't help but feel the surge of emotion threatening to burst from his chest as he looked up, admiring the crisp, handsome profile of his gentleman. He stopped mid-stride, just staring at this perfect human being and thinking how lucky he was that their paths had crossed and twisted around each other and had somehow become one along the way. Not at all perturbed by the unprecedented halt, Harry just smiled at him and leant down, pressing a chaste kiss on his cool lips while pulling him closer still. The kiss was short and sweet, and they ended up just staring deeply, finding and seeing their entire universe in each other's eyes.

The crack of a gunshot shattered the moment, and Harry Hart fell dead in his lover's arms.

* * *

 ** _"_** ** _NOOOOOO!"_**

The pain and anguish tore through his being, a million times worse than when he watched the tail end of the feed from Kentucky—because then he mourned a mentor and friend and a wistful would-have-been of things he only ever dreamt about; but now, now that he knew how it was to be in his arms, knew the taste of those lips, knew what they had was more than real, he wouldn't be able to bear it. He'd be left an empty shell of a man, a mere shadow of his former self. He couldn't lose Harry again, not like that, not ever. He wouldn't be able to take it, not when they'd finally found home in each other, he couldn't go through this again, there was just no way, he can't just—

The familiar feeling of Harry's gun-calloused hands gently swept over his tear-streaked cheeks, warm lips kissing over his eyelids and a voice telling him to breathe in measured breaths made Eggsy realise he was hyperventilating. He snapped his eyes open, wild gaze darting around frantically, trying to make sense of everything.

He was sitting in bed with Harry right beside him, trying to calm him down even as his breathing became less panicked, the soft tones of his lover's voice murmuring soothing things to him while stroking his back with one hand and his face with the other.

 _It was a nightmare. Just a fucking nightmare._

The relief that washed over him was so intense that Eggsy just burst into tears and clung onto Harry with shaking hands like he was afraid if he let go the illusion he woke up from would become reality. Harry gathered him in the circle of his arms and just let him until he exhausted himself, until Eggsy had finally slumped and let go of all the tension, hiccupping every once in a while but never relinquishing his hold through it all. Harry waited for a few moments before speaking again. He tried to mask the worry he felt, but it bled through his voice anyway. He had never seen Eggsy like this before.

"What's wrong, love? Will you tell me so I can fix it, my darling?"

Finally able to move again, Eggsy shifted and gently held Harry's face in his hands.

"Y'remember Kentucky, yeah?" Harry nodded, realising the source of his boy's distress. "Y' can't do vat t' me no more, yeah? Y'can't leave me like vat, 'kay?" The desperation in Eggsy's red-rimmed eyes was so raw that Harry felt his throat tighten in response, nodding because he could not trust his voice not to waver. He put his hands over Eggsy's and lifted them off his face, peppering them with kisses.

When he finally found his bearings, he spoke. "Oh my darling boy, I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry," Harry had been told that Eggsy was greatly affected by his alleged death, but this was the first time he had seen it for himself, and he would do anything— _anything_ to take that pain away. He lowered them both back to the bed, Eggsy automatically placing his head on the crook of Harry's neck, breathing in as much of Harry as he could. Harry tightened his embrace and they eventually fell asleep wrapped around each other.

* * *

Tristan sat on Merlin's left. As the newest knight, he had a lot to learn and the quartermaster had invited him to watch Galahad's mission feed so he could glean at least something from it before he got assigned his own missions. Tristan had gone over the particulars and noted that it was just a fairly easy data extraction, something that did not require Galahad's legendary skill set; which was why he was surprised when Arthur suddenly came in to watch with them. With the boss in the room, he sat up a bit straighter, but it didn't really matter because Arthur was completely focused on the mission.

They watched as Galahad impressively scaled the walls, using his skills in parkour quite elegantly. His movements were smooth and flowing: the view from the feed was barely jarred. Merlin confided that this was one of the reasons why he picked Galahad for Tristan's first feed viewing. At least, Merlin had said, he wouldn't have a headache afterwards, unless he had to fight his way through an army-sized security detail (all the upside-down views, whoop-dee-doo), but there was no chance of that happening because he'd be in stealth mode. An in and out, quick as can be.

"Galahad, I've disabled all the alarms. You may proceed."

Acknowledging it with a small nod, Galahad deftly picked the lock on the balcony doors and slipped inside. It was dark, but it was nothing to the night vision function of the Kingsman glasses. Silently, Galahad navigated through the house to get to the mark's office. Going straight to the safe, he immediately entered the combination provided by intelligence. He was about to open it when he heard a soft _thunk_ and a hiss from near the doorway, and that was when everything turned tits up. Galahad turned his head just in time to be assaulted by a plume of smoke, and by the looks of the skewed feed, was instantly knocked out. A gas-masked face appeared in view and Arthur did not waste any time in ordering for a plane to be ready for an extraction. Arthur nodded at Merlin and left for the hangar, trusting the handler to find out how everything went to shit, because it was a most obvious ambush if there was one and someone has to answer for it.

Merlin turned to Tristan. "Go watch Arthur's back, and whatever you do, do not get in his way, understand?"

"Yes, sir!"

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The extraction was alarmingly quick, even with their two-hour flight, and Tristan found out just how efficiently deadly Arthur can be despite not being on the field for a while now (Arthur was a previous Galahad and it was a universal trait for those in the position, he'd been told). He rained fire and brimstone upon the enemies, like some vengeful god and let the infidels who crossed his path taste his overwhelming wrath.

Back on the plane while it was still in the air, Merlin had informed them through the comms that Eggsy had been moved to a different part of the house and that he was being prepared for torture and interrogation; thankfully, the security detail did not notice that the glasses were transmitting a live feed and did not remove it from Galahad's person. They were able to track him and monitor his vitals through it, thank heavens for small mercies. The danger in Arthur's stillness made Tristan fidget in his seat. It was like being trapped in a cage with a lethal predator itching to spill some blood.

They arrived at the interrogation room in no time, the pair of them going straight to their destination, leaving a trail of dead bodies in their wake. Arthur opened the door and bullets flew to their marks with deadly accuracy. Arthur only ever used a bullet per person, but he emptied his current cartridge on the one who had a gun roughly pressed against Galahad's temple. Merlin informed them that they had the all-clear. That meant no survivors. There really was only the three of them plus their pilot left alive on that estate. Tristan was awed to witness just why the current Arthur was not one to be crossed.

On Merlin's orders, Tristan retrieved the data they were after up at the office while Arthur extracted Galahad, and they were to rendezvous on the plane as soon as possible.

Tristan moved as swiftly as he could and came back to the plane, finding it ready to go because everyone else was already there. He went to the seat next to the on-board computer monitors, his back to the pilot's cabin. Looking up, he had a clear view of Arthur gently cleaning Galahad's wounds on the couch, all of which seemed superficial at worst. The two were quietly conversing with each other, but even with the lowered volume, their voices still carried over to Tristan's ears in their close proximity. The plane took off, going back to UK headquarters.

"S'okay Harry, 'm tuff as nails, y'know I am. And it's not like they did much damage, yeah?" Galahad smiled convincingly.

"I know, but they could have—" Arthur stopped himself from articulating his obviously unpleasant thoughts, his fist clenching around the wet cloth he was cleaning Galahad's face with. "They were about to shoot your head when we came in, if we were just a second too late…"

Tristan clearly saw Galahad's expression as his senior agent looked at Arthur with sympathy and deep understanding; as though he'd lived through something similar, himself. Arthur had his back to Tristan, so he couldn't see his boss' face, but what he did see was that Arthur's hand was shaking now, and Galahad nuzzled it with his uninjured cheek, looking deep into Arthur's eyes.

"I know."

Tristan averted his eyes from the scene. It felt like he was an outsider, intruding on something so intimately private.

* * *

Harry leant in to kiss Eggsy, a long, soft, languid one, taking his time and savouring the moment. He pressed their foreheads together, their noses meeting in Eskimo kisses even as their lips separated.

"You remember my promise that night, a couple of weeks ago?" Harry asked.

"Yeah," Eggsy breathlessly answered.

"You can't leave me like that either, okay?"

Eggsy smiled and nodded, even if they both knew they couldn't be sure. After all, in their line of work, they're not promised tomorrow; so both resolved to just live each day like it would be their last, to love each other with no regrets and cling to everything they had until they couldn't anymore. There was no time to hold anything back, no time to play games.

They didn't care what anyone else would think or say; and they wouldn't need to with Merlin, Lancelot, and oddly enough, Tristan putting any naysayer in their rightful place.

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 **A/N:** I apologise for the lateness, but I was really busy and tired as fuck for most of the week. Also, I'm sorry for the surprise angst in the beginning. It didn't really happen though. XD Tell me what you think, yeah? Feed meeeeee


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